Remember Scott Bain?

We all know what speculation brings, regardless of what an army of “inside sources” may claim. But until Fraser Forster and some Southampton bigwig sit down for a press conference announcing The Wall is returning to the Saints — something that hasn’t happened at least while this was written on Thursday afternoon — it’s fair to assume a deal is still possible and Forster may very well return to Celtic.

Yet even in the tragic event that Forster doesn’t return, we still have a capable goalkeeper to start for the Hoops; a goalkeeper who had a hand — injured or otherwise — in the club’s success prior to the arrival of La Gran Muralla.

Good enough then, good enough now: Scott Bain lifts the Scottish Cup after Celtic won the final in May 2019.

Cast your minds back, Celtic fans. His name is Scott Bain, and until Forster came along, Bain was adequately handling the goalkeeping duties for the Hoops.

Of course, there’s no denying that Forster was an integral part in our most recent championship, and there’s no Hoops supporter in their right mind who would not want Forster to return to his station between the sticks for Celtic.

But that’s not the point here. This is: Lacking the services of Fraser Forster this season, the Celts go into 10-in-a-row already equipped with a game-tested and game-proven goalkeeping talent in Bain. If anything, any newly acquired goalkeeper — whether it’s Joe Hart, who is no longer head-and-shoulders above other goalkeepers, or Camp Nou hero David Marshall — should be sought for backup purposes.

It’s why this latest “crisis” is a manufactured one. It’s a mystery why Bain isn’t in the forefront of any discussion around acquiring a goalkeeper in the event that Forster doesn’t return, other than perhaps to create drama where actually there is none.

The Hoops already have a Number 1 in Bain; in fact, essentially Celtic had two Number 1s in Bain and Craig Gordon, but the latter has set his sights on starting for Championship League contender Heart of Midlothian and has acted on it accordingly.

Despite the current distraction, this team is easily ready to take the 10. With a healthy squad ready for an encore performance from last season’s championship, and with a crop of young players waiting in the wings augmented by a few previous transfer window acquisitions who have yet to show their talents, Celtic is unquestionably poised for 10-in-a-row.

Fraser Forster should be a part of that, and essentially his presence would guarantee it. But should he choose not be a part of it, the sticks are in capable hands with Scott Bain.

One more thing

I don’t know about the wider Celtic supporter base worldwide, but personally I’m getting a little tired of Hoops fans slagging former defender Kieran Tierney. Waking up to a Celtic fan’s tweet this morning where, paraphrasing here, he (or she) doesn’t care whether Arsenal fans like KT or not, he (or she) doesn’t pay attention to him anymore.

And that’s fine.

However, bear in mind that every time the former Celt takes the field at Highbury, he brings about 14 years of the Celtic system on to it as well. That alone reflects remarkably well on our club’s training system when KT is doing well for Arsenal; to say nothing of the fact that despite however well he is doing for Arsenal, the Gunners were still fleeced in spending as much as they did on him.

Perhaps someone someday can explain to me why we speak fondly of some former Celts — like Moussa Dembele, for example — and a lifelong bhoy with years of history with the club gets unceremoniously dragged.

Until next time, graffiti on the walls says we’re magic . . . .

Random thoughts, cheap shots, bon mots: Treble edition

First things first: Now that the bhoys are back in town — Lennoxtown, that is — I can stop prefacing my posts as on “hiatus” because now we’re back on the air, so to speak. And with the bhoys back, so is this blog, on its regular schedule.

Take that either as good news or as a warning. Your call.

Nevertheless, after endlessly watching Celtic games this season in the wake of “restrictions” forced on us by Covid-19 — thanks, Celtic TV — or poring over news about the Hoops during this time, it’s good to be back to work behind the keyboard and provide some hopefully welcome commentary.

That said, weclome to the third installment of “Random thoughts, cheap shots, bon mots,” the “Treble edition.”

From upstart to Jam Tart: Craig Gordon leaves the Hoops to join Heart of Midlothian in the Championship League for the upcoming season.

Goodbye, Craig Gordon

While many Celtic fans pray in our personal Gethsemane for a deal to come through to keep Fraser Forster, news has broken that Craig Gordon has left for — let’s be honest — less-than-greener pastures. While I was hoping that Gordon would come stateside and play in the MLS, Gordon has chosen to sign with Heart of Midlothian.

Regardless of whether you thought he/his agent handled the departure adversely by negotiating through the press, Gordon deserves nothing but accolades and admiration for his time at the Hoops. His level of play was always top-notch and his contributions off the field with the Celtic FC Foundation make him not only a good player, but a great individual.

Good luck, Craig, and thanks for the memories.

The new look bhoys

Scott Brown with hair? OK, as long as it’s not another red mohawk. The captain and a couple of the other returning Hoops players have been sporting new looks for the new season.

Take Moritz Bauer, who has shed the golden locks for the bald look, according to some reports which have speculated that Peter Lawwell can pass off the defender, on loan from Stoke City, as a new signing. Also, Patryk Klimala has seemed to have put in a lot of quarantine time working in the weight room and has bulked up considerably.

How those new looks for those particular players affect play on the pitch, if at all, remains to be seen. But especially in Klimala’s case, gaining muscle mass can’t hurt when playing in the rough and tumble up front.

In the bag: Former Celt Kieran Tierney is starting to make an impression on his new club, Arsenal.

Local bhoy makes good

Social media was all over former Hoops defender Kieran Tierney for showing up to the Arsenal match against Sheffield United on Sunday with his things packed in — gasp! — a Tesco bag.

But while they were poking fun at Tierney on Twitter and elsewhere, this is what he was doing on the pitch for the Gunners in earning Man of the Match: 58 touches, 39 successful passes (24 in the opposite half), 5 crosses, 1 key pass, 10 passes into a final third, 2 interceptions, 5 possession gained.

In addition, much of the talk on social media and on Arseblog — the Gunners’ online publication with possibly the most hilarious name ever — speak highly of Tierney, with some of those posting seeing him as the next Arsenal captain. High praise for the kid who literally grew up in the Celtic system.

But then again, that praise can go too far, especially from one Twitter poster who goes by @LinkUpArsenal: “Arsenal have an excellent relationship with Celtic following the Kieran Tierney deal. Hoping we can use this to somewhat gain leverage in a a deal for Odsonne Edouard.”

No chance, mate. No f-ing chance.

That’s all for today. Until next time, walk on with hope in your heart . . . .

Hiatus: Close the window

Now that the Bhoys are Back in (Lennox)Town, apparently it appears that Celtic captain Scott Brown needs a barber . . . .

Now that the Bhoys are Back in (Lennox)Town, attention has now been directed at the now-open summer transfer window, where speculation abounds regarding who Celtic should acquire to assure the 10.

Allow me a radical approach to this window in these special times: Close the window and don’t seek anyone new.

Sure, make the deal with Southampton and sign Fraser Forster; that’s a must. Sign Mohammed Elyounoussi, too, while you’re at it. But Celtic has the nucleus of a great team already in place, and some of the recent additions have yet to see adequate playing time on the pitch to show why they were signed in previous transfer windows.

Don’t forget, too, that we have a reserve team full of talent, some of whom have shown they are first-team ready, like Karamoko Dembele and Jonathan Afolabi.

The hiatus forced upon us thanks to Covid-19 has given those on the club with injuries a chance to heal, so we’re starting the next season with a clean slate where everyone is healthy. So the outlook for the club as we go for 10-in-a-row is remarkably good.

Up front, we’re set with Odsonne Edouard and Leigh Griffiths — the Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid of the Celtic front line — and behind them we still have yet to see an unleashed Patryk Klimala or Vakoun Bayo, indicating that maybe — and this is a very big maybe — only if the right striker comes along at the right price, the club might take a punt. But even if that does not happen, Celtic is in good shape up front.

One can make the compelling argument that the current midfield is one of the best in Celtic history. Callum McGregor, Scott Brown, Ryan Christie, James Forrest, Olivier Ntcham — any club anywhere would want some or all of these players patrolling the center of the pitch. But we also have yet to see Maryan Shved playing to his potential, and we’ve yet to see Ismael Soro at all so far. Don’t forget Tom Rogic was starting to get into a good rhythm until the season was unceremoniously curtailed. And, of course, there’s Mikey Johnston. Yet despite the unfortunate departure of Jonny Hayes, the club is still set in this department.

Jeremie Frimpong has been a more-than-welcome addition to Celtic this past season.

Meanwhile at the back, many make the argument that we could use a defender or two. Or more, with the main — and in my opinion, misguided — complaint that the tandem of Greg Taylor and Boli Bolingoli-Mbombo are not adequate at right back. We’ll get back to that in a minute, but first let’s look who’s still here: Hatem Elhamed, who was awesome early in the season last year, along with Chris and Kris — Jullien and Ajer, respectively. Jeremie Frimpong’s impersonation of Jimmy Johnstone has been stellar this season, until his mugging at Rugby Park by serial hammerthrower Alan Powers. Having Moritz Bauer on the bench does not hurt, either, and Nir Bitton, listed as a midfielder, has been known to play a pretty good defence himself.

Most football clubs would be wise to stand down in the transfer market while the revenue streams in the near future remain, to put it diplomatically, profoundly unsure. Until things return to “normal” — if they ever do — this is the new reality. Prudence dictates that Celtic should be no exception, and to its credit, the Celtic board has put the club in a very sound financial position heading into uncertain times.

Doviđenja, Jozo, i sretno (Goodbye, Jozo, and good luck)

Ground Conrol to Major Ken: Jozo Simunovic launches Kenny Miller into orbit in what could best be described as one of the all-time great tackles in football history.

The memory is ingrained deep in the psyche of all Celtic fans — the moment you saw Jozo Simunovic head the ball into the net against Kilmarnock last April in a game honoring another Number 5, Billy McNeill.

You may have been at Paradise, or maybe you were watching at home. Maybe you were in a pub with like-minded Celtic supporters.

Or if you were at Fiddler’s Green in Millbrae, California, as I was, watching with the San Francisco CSC, you might have done what we did: Cheer wildly for the goal, and when the gravity of fate made us realize that Number 5 had scored 67 minutes in, a hush of awe washed over the room.

Shortly afterward, I put the picture of Jozo pointing to the heavens after scoring that goal as the photo on my cell phone. It stays there to this day to remind me about how, on that day, the forces of nature sent a clear and unequivocal sign to Celtic and said, “There’s nothing stopping you now.”

Those who know me in Celtic circles know that I am a full-throated defender of Jozo Simunovic in the face of some of the naysayers within our support. Yeah, he may have knees of glass and, yeah, he may have been in injury recovery a little longer than might be convenient. But when he does make his way onto the pitch, Jozo is a machine.

Not only does he patrol the backfield with aplomb, he has also been known to wander forward and at a few opportune times — like in the game against Hearts back in February — his forehead happened to be in the right place at the right time to head Ryan Christie’s corner into the net to make the score 5-0. Or when Jozo took some initiative and drove forward to take a Greg Taylor cross in the game against Kilmarnock in March, only to be carried by momentum over the goal line but not before heading the ball back to Odsonne Edouard, who scored.

Two for the road: Jonny Hayes and Jozo Simunovic sadly will be leaving Celtic.

Jozo has earned a spot in Celtic lore not only for his goal in the Billy McNeill game or for launching Kenny Miller in a textbook tackle that should be taught in football academies worldwide, but also for his firm and steady defensive play for the Hoops. It is unfortunate that, due to injury, he could not reach his full potential for the club, but by the same token his play while in good health was of the highest quality.

They say things like this come in threes, so after Jonny Hayes and Jozo Simunovic, who might be next? Some are speculating that it might be Kris Ajer, who has been rumored to be on his way out for some time. My sincere hope is that this is wrong, but it remains to be seen.

Nevertheless, thank you, Jozo, for all those moments with the Hoops, and you are always one of us.

[Blogger’s note: A few weeks ago, I went “off script” and wrote a blog item about Nairn County FC in the Highland Football League after their statement assured that their team and staff would be paid, and club resources would be used to help the community through the Covid-19 crisis. Lo and behold, after exchanging emails with the club’s Donald Graham, I am now in possession of a maize (not yellow) and black NCFC scarf. Thanks, Donald, and mon the Wee County!]

Jonny, we hardly knew ye

Shutting up the fans at Ibrox: That’s what Jonny Hayes is most known for this season, but there is so much more to the man who has decided to move on.

First things first: Jonny Hayes is one of those players that makes a club overwhelmingly better by his mere presence. He’s what we call in the U.S. a “lunchpail player,” the kind of player who, without flash or fanfare, shows up to work, clocks in, and goes above and beyond the job asked of him in any given game.

So when he posted an Instagram message saying that he’s moving on, the Celtic faithful rightfully is mourning his departure and wishing him well in his future endeavours. My wish would have been that his “future endeavours” would have been in green-and-white, but . . . .

“Football at times brings tough decisions,” Hayes writes in his post, “so I’d like to thank you for all the support received along the way!”

Most of the memories relayed on social media involve Hayes’ goal against The Rangers™ earlier this season to put the game out of reach, as the picture speaking a thousand words above outlines. That was completely sublime, of course, but there was so much more to Jonny’s contributions to Celtic since he came to the Hoops from Aberdeen.

Hayes will always be remembered for his leave-it-all-out-on-the-pitch style of play, where he gave his all every game. There’s nothing more you can ask of an athlete, and he always delivered. Solid play against Lazio. A potential goal-saving tackle at Rennes. The list is quite long.

But what I like to remember Hayes for — and this seems inconsequential to most — is how that brand of play was typified in his throw-in at Hamilton back in February that led eventually to the 2-1 winner by Christopher Jullien. Hayes literally vaulted the signage on the Hamilton sideline, retrieved the ball, quickly threw in to Callum McGregor, who passed it back to Hayes, and then Hayes passed forward to Ryan Christie, who crossed it to Jullien, who put it in the back of the net.

It looked something like this.

At the end of that clip, we see Neil Lennon congratulating Hayes for starting the ball rolling, so to speak.

Like Mikael Lustig and Scott Sinclair, whose careers I still follow even though they’re playing elsewhere, I’ll keep watching Jonny Hayes because he will always be Celtic through-and-through.

Good luck in your future endeavours, Jonny!

Champions again, as you know

Today was a perfect day for jelly and ice cream . . . .

We have said it all along: We wanted to play out the season. With Glasgow’s other club self-destructing in a manner that makes the Hindenburg look like a minor traffic accident, it would have been great to see the Hoops finish 20 or more points ahead of the second place team.

In all probability, that would have been Motherwell.

Yet, alas, we are left with this: Our ninth championship in a row in a truncated season; a season where Celtic won 26 out of the 30 games it played. A season where the Hoops scored 89 goals to opponents’ 19. A gap of 13 points at the top of the table, with Glasgow’s other club finishing the season behind us, with the eternally ironic point total of 67.

That’ll have to do for now, in these very odd times. And it is a victory to be celebrated, cherished, and savoured like the other eight before it as we set our sights to 10.

On this day when we also celebrate the birth of Brother Walfrid, the celebration is doubly important. Celebrate reasonably, and strap in for the 10.

We are all ‘Invincible’

Matt Corr’s ‘Invincible’ — outlining the first of the three ‘Treble Treble’ seasons — is out now.

Truth in advertising: What you’re about to read is not so much a review of Matt Corr’s book, “Invincible,” the first book in a trilogy on the history of each of the Treble Treble seasons, but rather an observation that provides a peek behind the curtain of this outstanding literary project.

The Celtic Star’s editor David Faulds hired me, a retired newspaper editor, to proofread Matt’s book. So in other words, I was one of the lucky few who had a head start in reading it.

A little perspective: Currently I occasionally do freelance work editing and proofreading technical documentation — both hardware and software manuals — and, as you might imagine, the prose in these manuals and documentation are not exactly page-turners, by anyone’s definition.

So, to work on a book on a topic close to my heart — namely, Celtic — was a godsend. But this project was more: To work on this book was an honour and a privilege unrivaled in an editing career that has spanned four decades, simply by virtue of the fact that the material I had to work with was so clear, so precise, and so outstanding.

I was not a Celtic FC fan during the 2016/17 season. I was not even a football fan then (the story about how I started following football in general, and Celtic in particular, has been told elsewhere). I mention this because in “Invincible,” Corr literally puts you in the seat next to him for each of the games he describes in that glorious season.

No small feat, and it’s a testament to Matt’s uniquely detailed writing style, which constantly keeps your interest and focus on the moment on every page and on every game leading to the ultimate victory of the first Treble Treble.

Matt is no stranger to the Celtic faithful. His dispatches from European venues on the road with the Hoops, as well as other historical articles in The Celtic Star and writing game programme articles for home-game matches, has entertained and educated Celtic fans over the years. A man of many hats, he is also a tourguide at Celtic Park.

Suffice to say that Celtic is in Matt’s DNA, and the material he presents in his first book is easily relatable to all Celtic fans worldwide. In these pages, you are there with him in that first historic season. To that end, all Celtic fans own a piece of the history that is outlined in this book, making us all “Invincible.”

Now to sharpen my No. 2 pencil and wait for the next two books . . .

To buy a copy of “Invincible,” visit The Celtic Star bookstore here. The book is £19.99 plus postage, and it makes the perfect Father’s Day gift, assuming your father is a Celtic fan (and even if he isn’t, this will probably make him one).

On hiatus: A Highland shout-out

First things first (and spoiler alert): I am going off script for a moment, and writing about something that does not directly have to do with Celtic. Though in the recent hubbub and statement maelstrom that has marked Scottish football over the last couple of weeks, this may be a welcome respite.

In addition, while this is not directly Celtic-related, I hope that it resonates with the Hoops and with its fans as much, if not more, than it did with me. I think that Brother Walfrid would look down on this club from his heavenly perch and nod in approval.

“This club” is Nairn County FC, which ended up in 8th in the Highland League when play stopped for Coronavirus. With no prospect of restarting play any time soon, the club has focused its attention on the community, as outlined in its club statement on its Web page.

It starts: “Bill Shankly once said that football is not a matter of life and death, it is more important than that. Mr Shankly was wrong. It is a trying time for the Club, the town and the Country as a whole. In this regard we are aware we have not just football but also wider responsibilities.”

Statement author, NCFC Secretary Ian Finlayson, continues with talking about how the season ended and how resumption of the games is not likely for the foreseeable future, before revealing that the club’s board has “budgeted over these years to make allowance for tougher times, placing at the sage guidance of our Treasurer, some monies from transfers, sponsors and other income away to safeguard our future.

“The Rainy Days have come and we are ready for them. We can confirm today that wages will continue to be paid in full to all our players and staff and that we will continue to meet our due bills and costs.”

Hmm. A club with a good financial footing and sound financial practices. Sounds like one of Glasgow’s Premier League clubs . . .

But wait, there’s more.

“Now to our wider responsibilities. When we were in financial trouble several years ago, we asked the community for help and the community responded. We remember this and now it is our turn to repay this debt.”

This “debt repayment” by NCFC appears to be twofold: It involves deals with sponsors and local businesses so they are not left short in the wake of the current crisis, and using their social media channels for “advertising our local business sponsors and encouraging people to shop local and to consider making future bookings and buying vouchers now for local Hotels, hostelries, pubs and restaurants and all others to get some much needed cashflow into local business.”

And to the fans?

“With regards to our fans and the community as a whole. Well, we are not playing football for the foreseeable future, so if we can help on a Saturday with anyone in self isolation, be it picking up your shopping, getting your prescription to you or even just walking the dog, drop us a message or give us a call and we will sort something out for you.

“Nobody knows how long this virus will be with us, it could be a long haul, but we want you to know that your Club is with you. You have supported us, now its our turn to do the same for you.”

You have supported us, now it’s our turn to do the same for you.

Every club should have this attitude regarding its fans, and every club should realize its importance in the communities they serve by following NCFC’s lead in this regard.

Many have — Celtic certainly has with donations to the wider community at several levels during the crisis — but some haven’t.

So bravo to the maize and black of The Wee County, and know you’ve earned yourself a new fan 5,000 miles away.

On hiatus: I just can’t get enough

So, I don’t know how you all are weathering the Coronavirus situation — first and foremost, I hope you’re all well and safe — but being without football has been driving me into an advanced state of insanity masked by cabin fever.

The only way I have figured out how to cope with this is by watching, and re-watching, and re-re-watching this season’s Celtic games, thanks to Celtic TV.

On this note, Celtic TV has been the best $28 per month I have ever spent. I can watch (and re-watch) all the games I want this season, and there are a lot of feature shows that they also throw in (like this interview with fellow Californian Cameron Harper here). So again, they don’t pay me to pitch it, but I am Celtic TV’s biggest fan.

In watching the season again so far, where we’re 13 points up in first place and 25 or so ahead in the goal difference, and while ignoring the tsunami of statements from Glasgow’s other club as the sun sets on them, I have a few observations about this season that bear mentioning. Like . . .

Celtic’s Mr. Indispensable

I know what you’re thinking: Mr. Indispensable? Got to be Broony. No, maybe it’s Odsonne Edouard. Wait, it’s Fraser Forster, definitely.

Nope, though all of those players are vital parts that make the Celtic machine hum in all gears. But the player we really can’t do without is Callum McGregor. While The Celtic Noise’s Sandman, in his game ratings, has likened him to a metronome (and I assume he means that in a good way), CalMac has been nothing short of perfect in the midfield this season, providing an outlet to those who have been shut down on the wing, and distributing the ball with aplomb. He also is not shy about taking a shot when he sees fit.

This epiphany regarding CalMac came at the end of the Lazio game in Rome. If you watch the replay of Olivier Ntcham’s Rome-conquering goal, BT Sports (sorry, Celtic TV) shows a wide-angle view of the field after Edouard intercepted the errant pass and started downfield. You can see in the background both Scott Brown and Callum McGregor advancing, but who is sprinting forward, essentially catching up to Odsonne before he passes to Ntcham? Sprinting after 94 minutes of game time?

Callum McGregor, head still in the game, still ready to contribute.

It’s that kind of never-say-die play that makes CalMac indispensable, game after game, season after season. If anything, it boosts his chances on being Player of the Year again this year, if the votes go his way.

Odsonne Edouard says, “calm down,” and vote for the Celtic Player of the Year.

Speaking of the POTY vote . . .

You still have a chance to vote for the Triple Crown of Celtic greatness in the Player of the Year Awards, which is broken down into three categories: Player of the Year, Goal of the Year, and Young Player of the Year.

How did I vote? Glad you asked.

Player of the Year: Despite singing Callum McGregor’s praises a few paragraphs ago, I opted for Odsonne Edouard for Player of the Year. French Eddy rises head and shoulders above all other strikers in Scotland, not to mention many in Europe as his exploits in the U21 for France has shown. Hands down, Player of the Year for the Hoops. Also completely worthy of your vote: McGregor, Ryan Christie, Fraser Forster, Leigh Griffiths.

Goal of the Year: There are a lot of options here, and with a team as great as Celtic, there are a lot of fantastic goals to choose from. But you have to go with Olivier Ntcham’s goal at Nazio — sorry, Lazio — to win the game in Rome. For historical value, this goal is light-years ahead of the rest. But if you must vote for another, Griffith’s goal against St. Mirren, Edouard’s goal against Rangers, or Ntcham’s goal against Partick Thistle from about 10 miles out — OK, it was “only” about 35 yards — are also worthy. Actually ALL of the nominated goals are worthy, so it’s your choice.

Young Player of the Year: Oh my days! There’s no other choice here but to vote for Jeremie Frimpong. Funny thing: Tom Boyd was talking in a post-game show in October — it was either after the St. Mirren or the Aberdeen game — where he made comparisons between Frimpong and Jimmy Johnstone, and I thought, “Hmm, where have I heard that before?” I honestly hope the lad recovers from the mugging against Kilmarnock and enjoys a successful career, mostly with Celtic.

Dear Simon Donnelly . . .

Twice during the season at the outset of Celtic TV broadcasts of games with noon start times, Simon Donnelly (I think, though it could have been Paul Cuddihy, too) gave a shout-out to the Los Angeles CSC for waking up at Oh-My-God-Thirty in the morning to watch Celtic.

While that’s fine and it’s great that we West Coasters get recognized for making the herculean effort of dragging out butts out of bed at around 3:30 a.m. to watch a noon kickoff in Scotland at 4 a.m. Pacific Time — and to be honest, it’s the least we can do to watch a club like no other — fair play dictates that the bhoys and ghirls at the San Francisco CSC (of which I am one) deserve a shout-out as well, all of us watching on the big screen TV at an Irish pub called Fiddler’s Green in suburban Millbrae, California.

So how about it, Celtic TV in the booth? When this all gets sorted out and we’re back on track, the folks gathering for every Celtic game at Fiddler’s Green could use a hat tip.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to watch the Celtic-Livi game from November 23rd.

A few of my favourite things

Fun fact: “The Sound of Music” was the first movie I went to see with my family when I was a kid. A minor qualification, though: Really, the first movie I ever saw was the night before in a Friday night outing with my Dad and my friends from the neighbourhood to the drive-in, where we saw a forgettable stock-car racing movie called “Red Line 7000” with James Caan.

Anyway, “The Sound of Music” ended up producing a boatload of cultural references over time and, in the Internet age, a raft of memes that range from sublime to hilarious.

“Red Line 7000,” not so much.

As such, of all the songs in “The Sound of Music,” the song “My Favourite Things” has probably been parodied most throughout the 55-year history of the film.

Permit me to add another. Sing along if you know the tune.

My favourite things

Ntcham and Jozo and Rogic and Boli,
Griff blasts a shot that slips right past their goalie,
Jeremie Frimpong flies quick up the wing,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Killie in Glasgow, French Eddy puts two in,
Oh, and hey look, Tom, “Whit’s the goalie daein’?”
Taylor to CalMac, the Green Brigade sings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Broony at Rugby Park, Moi Elyounoussi,
Bitton upfield with a shot like an Uzi,
Forrest and Christie, two midfielding kings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Loss to Cluj, and draw at Livi,
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember The Wall is in goal,
And then I don’t feel so bad.